45 Quotes by Jeremy Hardy

  • Author Jeremy Hardy
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    Marriage is like the witness protection programme: you get all new clothes, you live in the suburbs, and you're not allowed to see your friends anymore.

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  • Author Jeremy Hardy
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    The image of my face I hold in my mind is always about 10 years out of date.

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  • Author Jeremy Hardy
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    Why don’t people just accept that life is sad and cheer up? After all, it’s not going to last for ever.

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  • Author Jeremy Hardy
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    The Afghan War has clearly reached a stage similar to that moment at your child’s party where you realise you’ve forgotten to give the other parents a pick up time.

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    Capitalism is a great idea in theory, but in practice it just doesn’t work.

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  • Author Jeremy Hardy
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    Marriage is like the witness protection programme: you get all new clothes, you live in the suburbs, and you’re not allowed to see your friends anymore.

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  • Author Jeremy Hardy
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    My daughter wanted a new pair of trainers. I told her You’re eleven, make your own!

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  • Author Jeremy Hardy
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    All socialists have bad backs because we slouch – except when we’re watching the news when we sit on the edge of our seats, shout, and wave our arms. Generally we sit hunched, arms crossed in a judgemental way, the whole of our bodies pulled into a frown.

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  • Author Jeremy Hardy
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    You can inherit male-pattern baldness from your mother’s father, but not a tendency to fight in the First World War.

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