278 Quotes by Jerome K. Jerome

There are two kinds of clocks. There is the clock that is always wrong, and that knows it is wrong, and glories in it; and there is the clock that is always right - except when you rely upon it, and then it is more wrong than you would think a clock could be in a civilized country.

The proverbial Englishman, we know from old chronicler Froissart, takes his pleasures sadly, and the Englishwoman goes a step further and takes her pleasures in sadness itself.

The less taste a person has in dress, the more obstinate he always seems to be.

A boy's muscles move quicker than his thoughts.

It is no more effort for a man to be a saint than to be a sinner; it becomes a mere matter of habit.

Weather in towns is like a skylark in a counting-house-out of place and in the way.

I love the chill October days, when the brown leaves lie thick and sodden underneath your feet ... the evenings in late autumn time, when the white mist creeps across the fields, making it seem as though old Earth, feeling the night air cold to its poor bones, were drawing ghostly bedclothes round its withered limbs.

Give an average baby a fair chance, and if it doesn’t do something it oughtn’t to a doctor should be called in at once.

I like work. It fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.