109 Quotes by Jesse Andrews

I like movies,” said Rachel, sort of apologetically. “But a movie doesn’t have to be good if it has Hugh Jackman.

Theory: People always get fired up when an unattractive girl an unattractive dude are dating each other.

The most beautiful thing about you is that you’re not a sock puppet.

I just realized that you may not know what ‘fin’ means. It is a filmmaking term. Specifically, it is French for ‘This movie is over, which is good, because it probably confused the hell out of you, because it was made by French people.

Have you ever noticed that people look like either rodents or birds? And you can classify them that way, like, I definitely have more of a rodent face, but you look like a penguin.

Also, she does this thing women sometimes do with their eyebrows where they just completely shave them off and draw news ones in a different weird place with a Sharpie or something, and the more you think about it, the more your stomach starts churning around and you want to claw your own head.

You could have an eight-inch thick titanium diaper bolted to your pelvis, and you would still somehow get laid. It should be their official tourism slogan: Israel Where Virginity Goes to Die.

One thing I’ve learned about people is that the easiest way to get them to like you is to shut up and let them do the talking.

Basically, being a senior means that when people throw things at your teeth, it’s accidental. In other words, being a senior is awesome.