559 Quotes by Jim Gaffigan

People need to write articles and they need to have angles in them and I'm grateful when people are doing articles, but I always say there's not a great mystery to stand-up comedy.

Don't take this the wrong way but I care more and I'm a better online friend than you. I also spend way to much time online.

The DC Improv food is amazingly edible for a comedy club.

My children have made me a better man, which is - in the end, that's probably more important than two more comedy specials or being in better shape.

Most of my material is , it doesn't necessarily involve a lot of editing. So even the show with the World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia, I don't have to worry about some of the material being inappropriate.

I would say I'm - in the show, I'm a cultural Catholic, which is what I was.

There was [ in New York] - some of it was this perception of the Midwest that I realized in this multicultural city that - and I don't think it's as true as it was - but everyone was kind of like, what, are you Jewish? Are you Italian? What are you? You know, are you black? Are you da-da-da? Are you Puerto Rican? And so I ended up - my ethnic identity was Midwestern, was white bread. And so it informed a lot of my stand-up.

I grew up 45 minutes outside of Chicago.

When I started stand-up - and this is in the '90s - there was definitely people hadn't watched decades of Comedy Central, where people are really much more educated on stand-up comedy.