559 Quotes by Jim Gaffigan

I’d have to say Sunset Salsa. Nothing against Honey Lime, but it’s for losers.

Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it’s what inspires you. So I feel like with food, it is a passion of mine. It’s where my sensibility rests. I love topics that are universal, and I love stuff that doesn’t alienate people.

Isn’t it strange – when you’re single, all you see is couples, and when you’re part of a couple, all you see are hookers.

Why do you have to be out of town to write a postcard? I want a to write a postcard to my neighbor: “I still live near you!” The guy sees me go into my apartment, flips the card over, it’s just a picture of me holding a rifle.

Whatever a writer gets paid for his book, it’s never enough. I think that’s true. It’s hard work. But in the end, you wrote a book. It’s something real and tangible that sits on a shelf forever.

What kind of life are you leading where you consider ketchup fancy? “Well, we ain’t rich folk, but on special occasions, I’ll break out the ketchup. Grandma’s birthday, make her feel special”

There is this false perception that comedians can never be serious. It’s like from like the era of court jesters.

Most of my material is, it doesn’t necessarily involve a lot of editing. So even the show with the World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia, I don’t have to worry about some of the material being inappropriate.

The real question is should we trust people who don’t like cheese?