559 Quotes by Jim Gaffigan

When I’m in touch with the idea that there is a higher power and that there is, you know, other factors at work, it – it kind of quells my narcissism.

It’s a balancing act of you feel horrible that you’re away but there is something about the road that is rather liberating.

I’ve been outed as a Christian.

Babies, they learn how to walk and they are already trying to run away. You can’t reach the doorknob, you only know us, think it through.

There’s something that’s really fun about the challenge of making the mundane funny, too, I think.

It is amazing how much more amazing sleep is in the morning. You wake up and you’re like, “I stayed up to do what?! Watch Growing Pains? What was I thinking!?” But at night you’re like, “La La La La La, Hey! Growing Pains, awesome! And I’ve seen this episode. That Kirk Cameron’s always in trouble.”

My wife’s gotten really lazy, or as she calls it, ‘pregnant.’

I left the Midwest thinking I didn’t fit in. But when I got to New York, I realized how truly Midwestern I was.

For stand-up comedians that go onstage and get to write and perform and direct, and do all these things, the allure of a television show is still there but if it doesn’t offer a level of creative fulfillment, it’s oddly unappealing.