164 Quotes by Jim Norton

From now on, anyone raped at Penn State should just tell Joe Paterno's statue. It couldn't help you any less than the real Joe would have.

You look like a diabetic strip club owner.

There's a trench coat and a tragedy in your future.

You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living.

I had AIDS, but I beat it with Advil.

People are too worried a lot of times what other people in the audience are going to think about them, so they like to feign offense so other people don't think that they're inappropriate for laughing at something.

I'd rather hug Magic Johnson after he rolled around in barbed wire.

You really are a badass, edgy guy who tells it like it is...about couscous.

I appreciate that the New York Daily News will show dead bodies but blur the cover of a French parody magazine. Just out of respect, right guys?