164 Quotes by Jim Norton

I don't wear rubbers cause you can't catch it twice.

Mario you are a great chef but you look like a homeless James Gandolfini.

They don't tend to feature the kind of vaginas I like in adult films. I tend to like a thick, heavy pussy - the kind of pussy that looks like it just smoked an exploding cartoon cigar.

I wish I had AIDS so I could bite somebody.

People are dumb and they think that laughing equals cosigning a belief in the ideology, which it doesn't.

What a shock that a guy who makes $2 million a week behaves exactly like I would with $2 million a week. As far as I’m concerned, if you make $2 million a week and you don’t have a hooker in your hotel room, you’re creepy and I don’t trust you. And I don’t do drugs at all, so for me it would just be more prostitutes. That’s how they would find me. I would be dead on the floor, flattened by a pile of prostitutes. I’d look like a cat in a hoarders’ house.

People are just self-centered-it's all about them. And we're telling people it's okay to be 'all about you' because you're a victim and it's not your fault. That's why society has gotten more and more belligerent and selfish.

What's the name of the birth defect you have, trampled by a horse during the 2nd trimester?

I'm embarrassed for us as a free society that we actually want people punished for saying things we don't like.