226 Quotes by Jo Brand

Fat people are brilliant in bed. If I’m sitting on top of you, who’s going to argue?

I’m a terrible sort of non-fussy eater, really. I don’t like posh food very much, and the more ingredients something’s got in it, the less I tend to like it.

When you cry, you don’t look very attractive; you look snotty and blotchy. People seem to manage to cry quite prettily these days, and to me, that smacks of not being very genuine.

One of the guys that used to run it – for some reason I’ve no idea why he used to call me the Sea Monster and I was just looking around for a name and thought that’ll do. That lasted for a couple of years probably.

When I was a nurse my favourite assignment was the anorexic ward. I sometimes ate as many as seventeen dinners.

My mum is bright, ambitious, well read, political and very bolshie: when my dad was conscripted into the Army and posted to Libya, she convinced some general to let her go with him. I don’t know how she managed it.

My ex-boyfriend can round last night, which was weird because I didn’t know he was in a coma.

I’ve been breastfeeding for two years. I could light the gas ring with my nipples.

I don’t know if we will ever try again because those sort of things are very hard to organise but yes, I’ve known Doon for years and John as well but I hadn’t met Will before, and he turned out to be a good laugh.