226 Quotes by Jo Brand

I used to get a lot of people saying ‘Oh, you are such a lucky granny.’ But the fact of the matter is you can be a grandma at 35 these days.

I did try when I wasn’t doing the singing to do as much comedy as I could because I thought with Comic Relief you are duty bound to anyway.

People are so different in reality from the picture created of them on TV. So it’s all a creation; everything is made up.

It wasn’t a conscious effort to have kids later. It was just the way life goes.

An overweight guy went to the doctor who advised him to try a keep fit DVD. But the guy said he couldn’t be bothered. “Well” suggested the doctor, “try something that leaves you a little short of breath.” So the buy took up smoking.

I pay a bit more than lip-service to health: I don’t eat chips or pre-prepared food, and it might be a comedy sacrilege to admit I do like vegetables, fruit and salad and stuff.

Men are fantastic – as a concept.

When you get to know someone, you find there’s something nasty in their woodshed.

I’m not really a churchy person, although I do think Jesus was a good bloke.