619 Quotes by Joan Rivers

Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!

Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.

My boobs are so low I had to put curb feelers on my nipples!

The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.

What are people going to do? Fire me? I've been fired before. Not book me? I've been out of work before. I don't care.

I use a smoke alarm as a timer.

We all mourn in our own way. I mourn with a great steak.

Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery; come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!

If you don't think you're funny, no one else will.