619 Quotes by Joan Rivers

I think I was the third person in the world to get a Kindle, and I hated it from the minute I got it.

Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.

Never floss with a stranger.

[Signature phrase:] Can we talk?

I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.

Any form of complacency is the kiss of death for any professional.

My breasts are so low now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.

Just remember: Surviving is the best revenge, no matter what the disaster has been.

When you whisper about something, it's too big, and you can't get it under control and take control of it.