619 Quotes by Joan Rivers

I will work as hard as I do because I love it.

Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'

The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are 'age appropriate.' For me that would be a shroud.

My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat.

I would not want to live if I could not perform. It's in my will. I am not to be revived unless I can do an hour of stand-up.

Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all; grief is a spectator sport for them.

My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.

What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.

I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.