619 Quotes by Joan Rivers

I've always been salaried; I've never owned anything. I've done very well, lived very well.

My career is as an actress. I am an actress playing a comedienne.

I am furious about everything.

Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.

I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.

Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.

moving on is a gift you give yourself.

Fat jokes aren't relevant, but they're hilarious when you find them.