29 Quotes by Joe Bob Briggs

There is no post-9/11. Everything from now until the end of time is post-9/11.

Yet it wasn't so long ago that virtually every person in the world felt perfectly free to show up on the doorstep of any other person in the world.

In other words, New York has gone all suburban and bourgeois on us.

Faith is like a kernel of wheat.

Everything changed in Bosnia, when General Wesley Clark proved that you could fight a war with high- level precision air strikes and a bare minimum of ground action.

I AM a male chauvinist. Who's been saying otherwise?

The Italians always made good wine, but you had the impression they were friendly guys in straw hats running family vineyards with slaves or something so that the vino was never more than ten bucks a bottle.

The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.

SURE-FIRE SINGLES AD: Famous Writer needs woman to organize his life and spend his money. Loves to turn off Sunday football and go to the Botanical Gardens with that special someone. Will obtain plastic surgery if necessary.