49 Quotes by Joe Dunthorne

Our Welsh teacher thinks he is young. He tells us that the Welsh for skiving in town is ‘mitchio yn y dre’.

I tell my parents I'm going out for pudding. They think this might be a nickname for heroin.Mum makes the international face for 'is there anything you want to tell me?'

Unhappy people have a role in society – and that is to make the rest of us feel better.

I want birds to have strips of my soppy diary to pad out their nests. I want the mother birds to regurgitate food for their young and little bits of half-chewed sick to accidentally landon my name.

I do not believe in scenery but still, there it is.

The next thing Jordana says makes me realize that is too late to save her. “I've noticed that when you light a match, the flame is in the same shape as a falling tear.”She's been sensitized, turned gooey in the middle.

Exercise II.Write a diary, imagining that you are trying to make an old person jealous. I have written an example to get you started:Dear Diary,I spent the morning admiring my skin elasticity. God alive, I feel supple.

I love you more than words. And I am a big fan of words.

I took a photo of us, mid-embrace. When I am old and alone I will remember that I once held something truly beautiful.