138 Quotes by Joe R. Lansdale

Sometimes he felt as if he had stepped into an alternate universe where the old laws of nature and what was right and wrong did not apply.

Leonard, you’re my hero. When I grow up I want to be just like you. Can I, huh, can I?” “Need some black paint first, but that isn’t gonna make you as pretty. And it would be nice if you were a lot less stupid.

In polite society what you say to an attractive woman who is dressed in a way that makes you understand the power of biology is, “You look nice.

Some things you do, not because they’re pleasant, but because they have to be done.

That first loving kiss, the one that comes out of you from the source of your personal river, and the one that comes from her that is the same, there’s never another moment like it; never another flame that burns so hot. It can never be that good again, ever. All manner of goodness can come after, but it’s different. And that’s a good thing, because if we burned that hot for too long, we’d be nothing but ash.

They might have been all-right people doing the best they could, but I got to tell you, you got a dead cat lying in your yard you ought to bury it. That’s my motto.

But killing a man ought to mean something, even if you have to do it.

That’s love for you. When it’s good, it’s magic. When it isn’t, it just pees all in your soup.

I could always write in a wide variety. My moods change same as reader’s moods change. I really do love writing the historicals, however, but if that’s all I did I would go crazy, same with any of the other kinds of books. I need variety.