102 Quotes by John Bishop

I was right in the middle of a story and leading to a punch line and then I just heard 'John John' and I just looked around. I could see someone in the shadows walking forward and he said 'John I can't find me seat lad, d'ya know where me seat is?' I looked at him and it was my uncle Dave.

As a comedian, you have to say something that people relate to, or nobody laughs.

As an actor, you have to perform the character in the way that people relate to.

I started at 34 and I didn't go full time until I was 40. When I say started, I mean the first time I went on stage.

When you're 18, you might think that you're interesting. You're not, you're boring.

I can be a little bit of a control freak.

I have fond memories of the Grand National, but in recent years, as I have become more committed to animal welfare, I have grown increasingly uncomfortable about an event that every year results in the deaths of horses.

I am in my late 40s now, so I wake up fatter than when I went to bed.

I just don't think it's acceptable that any animal should lose its life in pursuit of entertainment, which is also why I believe all blood sports should be banned.