328 Quotes by John Cleese

I had not seen it for a long time and was suddenly embarrassed to find that I was laughing more than anyone.

When I was in school, I was beaten every 30 minutes. It never did me any harm except for some psychological mal-adjustments and blurred vision.

I had a very, very difficult relationship with my mother, who was supremely self-centred. She was hilariously self-centred. She did not really take interest in anything that didn't immediately affect her.

The writing is the most important bit, and performing it is just closing the circle because I'm less likely to screw it up than anyone else.

On movies, I like to involve the cast in the writing of the script. I like to have a rehearsal period, after which I do the last draft, which gives me a chance to incorporate anything the actors have come up with during the rehearsal period, so I'm very inclusive as a writer.

I've always called myself a writer/performer, not an actor because I basically write what I perform.

You can't make Christ funny. He's self-aware, he's too flexible within the situation. It's rigidity, it's when the ego takes over and the behavior becomes inappropriate that it becomes funny.

I don't understand why very, very rich people want to have even more money than they've already got.

I have a tendency sometimes to get too logical with what I'm writing, just because I want it to be kind of perfect.