328 Quotes by John Cleese

It was not fair and therefore unworthy of my respect. It was as simple as that.

Muslims, who have a completely different value system, come to the West, then they should accept that there are certain basic values in the West intrinsic to our culture. Just as I wouldn’t suggest that any Westerner walk down the streets of Saudi Arabia in a bikini.

I can’t tell you how scary it can be walking onto a movie and suddenly joining this family, it’s like going to somebody else’s Christmas dinner, everyone knows everyone, and you’re there and you’re not quite sure what you’re supposed to be doing.

Most of the bad taste I’ve been accused of has been generic bad taste; it’s been making fun of an idea as opposed to a person.

I don’t want to have to start being unselfish again. The great thing about being on your own is you do what you damned well like.

On movies, I like to involve the cast in the writing of the script. I like to have a rehearsal period, after which I do the last draft, which gives me a chance to incorporate anything the actors have come up with during the rehearsal period, so I’m very inclusive as a writer.

Yes it’s her husband. She hasn’t got over it. Died thirty years ago.

Self-confidence seemed to me more mimicry than anything else and I suggested visiting Clifton Zoo to watch the leaders in a group of baboons, and learn from them: make your gestures slow and deliberate; cultivate a deeper voice; appear casual at all times; eschew all rapid movements. That was all you had to do to look confident.

Other people, you know, put a latex rubber on, you know, to become sexually excited. There’s so much I don’t understand.