329 Quotes by John Mayer

I’ve never done anything because I thought it would look cool.

I don’t jerk off because I’m horny. I’m sort of half-chick. It’s like District 9. I can fire alien weapons. I can insert a tampon. No, I do it because I want to take a brain bath. It’s like a hot whirlpool for my brain, in a brain space that is 100 percent agreeable with itself.

God only knows how much I’d love you if you let me, but I can’t break through at all.

Disappointment has a name, it’s heartbreak.

I quit the media game. I’m out. I’m done.

If I wake up in the morning and I don’t want to get you a coffee or if I don’t see you for a week and I don’t want to go figure out something to FedEx you, then we’ve got a problem. You can fake the words I miss you, but you can’t fake getting someone a book.

I am an architect of days that have not happened yet.

I just wish they’d put a new word in the dictionary bigger than love because love just doesn’t describe what I feel.

Sometimes I wish that I was a bong hit, you’d let me in and you would love every minute.