392 Quotes by John Scalzi

If the universe is bigger and stranger than I can imagine, it’s best to meet it with an empty bladder.

How did you get here, anyway?” “It’s classified.” “I’m close enough to stab you with a fork.

How much did you love her?” Jane asked. “Your wife. Kathy. When people are married for a long time, maybe they stay together out of habit.” “Sometimes they do,” I said. “But I loved her very much. All the time we were married. I love her now.

Being poor is people wondering why you didn’t leave.

Well, ‘explode’ maybe isn’t the most accurate term. What actually happens is much more interesting.

There’s a difference between the fact that the universe is inherently unfair on a cosmic level, and the fact that life is unfair because people are actively making it so.

Cardenia gawked at Rachela I. “You’re unbelievable.” “I worked in marketing,” Rachela I said. “Before I was a prophet. After, too, but we didn’t call it that after that point.

High-risk, high-reward situations where the path to success isn’t laid out but has to be cut by machetes through a jungle filled with poison toads.

You do what you have to do to give people closure; it makes them feel better and it doesn’t cost you much to do it. I’d rather apologize for something I didn’t really care about and leave someone on Earth wishing me well.