488 Quotes by John Waters

Keep up with what’s causing chaos in your own field.

I go to colleges all the time in America, and everyone’s gay, and I think how can this be? And it’s only in rich schools. In poor schools, nobody’s gay.

How come there’s no terrorism with humor, which is a great way to humiliate your enemy? It’s a great time for that.

There’s a prison there, too, which always makes me feel included.

Valentine’s Day is my mother’s birthday. If I’m wildly in love, I’ve sent people chicken hearts, which seems to appeal to the kind of person that I’ve been in love with.

It isn’t enough to shock. It’s easy to shock. Real surprise is what I’m after.

First of all, accept that something is wrong with you. It’s a good start. Something has always been wrong with me, too. We’re in a club of sorts, the lunatic fringe who are proud to band together. There’s a joyous road to ruin out there, and if you let me be your garbage guru, I’ll teach you how to succeed in insanity and take control of your low self-esteem. Personality disorders are a terrible thing to waste.

I’ve always believed in the goodness of people. I teach in prison. They all said, don’t do it. Carry a gun, take Mace. Are you kidding? I guess, they’re around so many criminal elements that they fear for.

Hitchhiking, intrinsically, is sexual and dangerous. At the same time I never really felt scared. I was scared that nobody would pick me up and that I’d be waiting by the side of the road for a week.