139 Quotes by Johnny Vegas

I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I’m grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old’s birthday party, you couldn’t pay me enough.

Comedy’s so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn’t get it, doesn’t find it funny, then fine.

My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent rings me about a role, I don’t ask what the part is, but what century it’s in.

I’ve spent lots of time in London, I studied in London, I like London. It’s just not my home.

My first holiday to San Francisco in 1998-99 was supposed to be a two-week vacation but I ended up staying five weeks and nearly didn’t come home.

I hate flying, airports and the whole rigmarole – queuing up, security and lost luggage.

You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow ’cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led.

I’m loath to use my personal life to promote what I do, but at the same time, I don’t like a journalist going away with no more than you could get off Wikipedia, where most of it’s invented anyway.

I think I’m realising more and more that I’ve got a job to do and I can’t be doing the big nights out and working to my full potential the next day. I feel much better for it.