712 Quotes by Jon Stewart

9/11 references are like Lay's potato chips...no Congress can make just one.

You're your own play.

People talk about sexual assault like it's a bad habit that men have.

I always knew I shouldn't have said that.

The Republicans are calling the Democrats' plan to have a deadline for US troop withdrawal from Iraq an 'admission of failure', as opposed to the Republican plan which is 'failure without admission'.

The press is our immune system. If it overreacts to everything, we eventually get sicker.

It's a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to have to make their case that they deserve the same basic rights as someone else.

What good are images if people understand them?

Hollander said. ''He suggested maybe making four or five alternatives.