712 Quotes by Jon Stewart

I already miss him. At 42, you don't get the opportunity to be tickled a lot.

I think the metric by which television is considered liberal is literally based on the metric of liberalism in each person's soul. Peoples' senses of humor tend to go about as far as their ideology.

Thus, I've created humour.

Congress is the Justin Bieber of our government

I visit Fox News every now and again, and it's nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building.

I think there is nothing remotely gay about classic Hollywood westerns.

We look at, the absurdity of the system provides us the most material. And that is best served by sort of the theater of it all, you know, which, by the way, thank you both, because it's been helpful.

Bush proposed a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. Some saw the move as an attempt to preserve traditional values, while others saw it as a cynical ploy to ensure that Vice President... Cheney will never have to pay for his gay daughter's wedding.

Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys with M16s going, "Who'd you call a faggot?"