712 Quotes by Jon Stewart

When I said that I wanted to put together a writing staff that would only be 80 percent Ivy League-educated Jews, they said it couldn't be done,

We hear every damn day about how fragile our country is - on the brink of catastrophe - torn by polarizing hate, and how it's a shame that we can't work together to get things done, but the truth is we do. We work together to get things done every damn day!

Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let the chips fall where they may.

By working to get away from your circumstance you can make something better of yourself, but there’s no guarantee... But you know what? The joy of it is chasing that dream.

those dastardly, conniving, post-hurricane looting criminals. Is there no end to their planning abilities?!

Sometimes it's hard to face your own...life.

The goals for me have changed somewhat. There's a bit of seduction to the idea of being on network, but it got to the point where that wasn't important. What's important is doing something worthwhile. Which is why I've always avoided being on a sitcom. Yeah, it's high-profile and it's on a network, but you know what? You could be on Suddenly Stewart.

No, I live in New Jersey because I like living in New Jersey.

Nothing brings closure to a campaign like opening it up again.