712 Quotes by Jon Stewart

This feels like some attempt at accountability. And that's what I really like about it.

You cannot judge a book by its contents.

I have complete faith in the continued absurdity of whatever’s going on.

When the court that handpicked you to be president tells you you've overstepped your bounds, you've overstepped your bounds.

If you don't get it right with your first family, you can always do it again with another.

If you smell something, say something.

As I was watching Dave talking about Johnny Carson, the way he feels about Carson is the way we, the comedians of our generation, feel about him,

[If President Bush is right about democracy in Iraq] I may, and I don't know if I can physically do this, implode.

A guy who says what people who aren't thinking are thinking.