712 Quotes by Jon Stewart

When the court that handpicked you to be president tells you you’ve overstepped your bounds, you’ve overstepped your bounds.

Don’t you dare besmirch the name of Congress. They are patriotic Americans trying to dress and feed themselves.

That’s the Senate Ethics Committee, an oxymoron since 1973.

I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it’s not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.

I have not moved out of the comedian’s box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me.

It’s not really a good sign when your audience applauds Satan.

Religion. It’s given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

It’s a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to have to make their case that they deserve the same basic rights as someone else.

Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you’ve gotta admit: a lot of people hate him.