712 Quotes by Jon Stewart

I think the main thing that has to end is men’s defensiveness.

If you watch the news and don’t like it, then this is your counter program to the news.

The Oscars is the one night of the year when you can see all your favorite stars without having to donate any money to the Democratic Party.

If Obama’s a tyrant, he’s a pretty tame tyrant. How many tyrants do you know that really suffer because they can’t get cloture?

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There’s just one problem – it’s in North Korea.

I can’t believe I’m comforting a billionaire.

I’m a little bit too obsessed with the news. I find the news easier to follow than narrative entertainment programs.

That’s the beauty of our show. Comedy or politics. We’re sort of a mix. A space age polymer of both. A synthetic comedy-like material.

People that worry about where they think they’re going next generally don’t end up where they think they’re going. I just worry about what I’m doing now and try to make it good. When you’ve got too much of a master plan, it’s going to fail.