662 Quotes by Jonathan Swift

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout.

When the world has once begun to use us ill, it afterwards continues the same treatment with less scruple or ceremony, as men do to a whore.

Un jeune américain de ma connaissance, homme très-entendu, m’a certifié à Londres qu’un jeune enfant bien sain, bien nourri, est, à l’âge d’un an, un aliment délicieux, très-nourrissant et très-sain, bouilli, rôti, à l’étuvée ou au four, et je ne mets pas en doute qu’il ne puisse également servir en fricassée ou en ragoût.

I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed.

Gulliver describes a royal personage inspiring awe among the tiny Lilliputians because he was taller than his brethren by the breadth of a human fingernail.

But as human happiness is of a very short duration, so in those days were human fashions upon which it entirely depends.

There are certain common privileges of a writer, the benefit whereof Ihope there will be no reason to doubt; particularly, that where I am notunderstood, it shall be concluded that something very useful and profoundis couched underneath; and again, that whatever word or sentenceis printed in a different character shall be judged to contain somethingextraordinary either of wit or sublime.

Punning is a talent which no man affects to despise but he that is without it.

take a strict view of their excrements, and, from the colour, the odour, the taste, the consistence, the crudeness or maturity of digestion, form a judgment of their thoughts and designs; because men are never so serious, thoughtful, and intent, as when they are at stool...