662 Quotes by Jonathan Swift

I should perhaps like others have astonished you with strange improbable tales; but I rather chose to relate plain matter of fact in the simplest manner and style; because my principal design was to inform you, and not to amuse you.

Neither is it safe to count upon the weakness of any man’s understanding, who is thoroughly possessed of the spirit of revenge to sharpen his invention.

I desired that the Senate of Rome might appear before me in one large chamber, and a modern representative, in counterview, in another. The first seemed to be an assembly of heroes and demi-gods; the other, a knot of pedlars, pick-pockets, highwaymen, and bullies.

I with borrow’d silver shine, What you see is none of mine. First I show you but a quarter, Like the bow that guards the Tartar: Then the half, and then the whole, Ever dancing round the pole.

A humour of reading books, except those of devotion or housewifery, is apt to turn a woman’s brain... All affectation of knowledge beyond what is merely domestic, renders them vain, conceited and pretending.

You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.

Argument, as usually managed, is the worst sort of conversation.

Conversation is but carving! Give no more to every guest Than he’s able to digest.

Come, agree, the law’s costly.