368 Quotes by Karl Pilkington

I drive a car, like an adult. Not brilliantly. I'm not great.

There’s fish in here that I’ve read about that are so see-through that they’re invisible. So I don’t even think they know they exist.

The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death.

Chinese people age overnight.

Comedy's really subjective, you know.

I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about.

We all just want to sit on our ass.

If you go away with, you know, a girlfriend, wife, whatever, you have an argument on holiday because you're not used to spending that much time with people.

You don't get anything done by planning