368 Quotes by Karl Pilkington

I mean, I don’t really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.

You don’t have to do it straight away, but just do it before it gets really bad.

The problem I have with all this religion stuff is that I can’t relate to it. I think most people got into ’cos it gave them something to do on a Sunday, but since all the shops are now open it isn’t required as much.

Luke mentioned that a lot of people go to the Kumbh Mela festival to ‘find themselves’. That’s a saying I’ve never understood. If I did want to find myself, I don’t think I’d find me at a festival with 20 million other people. I hate crowds. The.

When you’ve been on a programme called ‘An Idiot Abroad’ job offers aren’t exactly flying in.

Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched ‘University Challenge.’ The onion was probably the highlight.

Why didn’t evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?

Knowledge is annoying.

You know, when you’re a producer, you’re a bit of a lackey. You’re just making cups of tea and making sure they’ve got newspaper, stuff like that.