368 Quotes by Karl Pilkington

We had the Stone Age and the Bronze Age, now we’re living in the Interfering Age.

I’m really happy. I just don’t choose to show it.

Where you are is what you eat. When I’m in London I’ll have beans on toast for lunch. On holiday – what? Tapas? Go on then I’ll have a bit. You eat whatevers in that area.

I sometimes wonder how we’re short of cod. There’s gonna be a load deep down that are hiding. But it’s a good reason to put the price up, and it means a load of people will have haddock. They should tell people they’re running out of all sorts. Make ’em panic a bit.

I’d prefer to have a world of grumpy considerate people than happy selfish ones.

Fishing: I don’t really like it. I don’t really like the expression on the fish’s face.

It’s easier to have a go at something again when you failed at it as you’ve got nowt to lose.

Cher sang the song “If I Could Turn Back Time” about how she wished she could turn back time just so she could stop an argument that she’d had. If this is the sort of stupid thing people would be doing with time travel, I don’t think we should encourage it.

I don’t know what the future is, but you just do it whilst it’s there, don’t you?