158 Quotes by Kathy Griffin

I’m always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.

I’m on every worst-dressed list imaginable.

Well, Jon Hamm isn’t a real celebrity.

I’m not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

It is a challenge, with the global fame, to try to act like I put my pants on one leg at a time, when in fact I have Pippa Middleton help me put my pants on every morning. She’s my lady-in-waiting as well.

I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It’s definitely rated R.

That’s what I loved about Temptation Island. I don’t even know why they did it.

Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I’m not going to let that stand.

My friend Anderson Cooper is the scion of one of America’s great shipping and railroad families, the Vanderbilts.