35 Quotes by Katie Nolan

I was bartending in Boston five, six nights a week, living in my grandmother's condo. By the way, I'm a really good bartender - that's the only skill I can confidently say I have.

I went by Kyle, and I made friends on the team as Kyle. It went on for a pretty long time, until I went to a birthday party in a dress and all the hockey players were like... 'Kyle?'

I live in New York City, but I live in Hoboken because it's cheaper there, and I can own a condo.

I try to limit my time with Michael Davies to as little as possible per week, and he is pretty good with that, since he has a bazillion things to do. When I do see him, I try not to talk about dental work or anything like that because I know the Brits get very sensitive.

'Guyism' wanted a daily video series. They told me they were planning on hiring a girl and then hiring someone to write all her jokes. Then they figured it would be easier just to get me, so they offered me $750 a month to do it, which turned into an offer to move to New York and do it full-time for $30,000 a year.

I would love to learn how to start my own production company and start it in Boston.

You are not just a funny person or just a journalist. Most people are hybrids of having a smart opinion and a great sense of humor.

I am not going to say I have never spoken with Bill Simmons because I have. I respect him greatly.

When I review my contract, it is to make sure that I am not going to get in trouble or not paid. Then afterward, people say, 'Did you make sure they gave you a green room,' and I'm like, 'No, I didn't get any of the cool stuff.'