336 Quotes by Kevin Hearne

Mr. Tall, Blonde and Lightning.

Now, ye know right well I’m in favor of solving problems through stomping on nuts, but the first rule to follow – the one ye didn’t remember – is not to stomp on your own.

Anyone who’s ever tried to tangle with a teddy bear cholla knows there’s a whole lot more bear than teddy to it.

As any war veteran will tell you, there is a vast difference between preparing for battle and actually facing battle for the first time. You can be told that reading Victor Hugo will sap your will to live, but you can’t understand what it means until you’ve read a few chapters and your eyes are glazed over and someone has to revive you with a defibrillator.

Our minds are all that defend us from the horror of the void. The majority of the time we simply think about something-anything-else, and that itself is an act of defiance against the vast nothing of the universe.

Well o’ course she’s feelin’ dandy! She’s the mother o’ God for the love o’ Pete!

You’re going to need a dann big can of big spray! Or maybe a rocket-propelled grenade. I have one in the garage, you want it?

Like the honey badger, the werewolf takes what it wants.

Pardon me, is this some kind of social experiment? You want me to get a hundred and forty-four Samoans and cram them into your cabin with a case of whiskey?