336 Quotes by Kevin Hearne

The tendency of modern American women to exclaim ‘Hiiiiiiiiiiii!’ in soprano octaves and hug each other upon sight can be disconcerting to those unfamiliar with it.

When The Empire Strikes Back first came out in 1980 and I saw Luke summon his lightsaber to his hand in the wampa cave, I remember thinking, “Whoa! Awesome!” And then, after I’d seen it maybe ten more times, I wondered, “Where’d he learn how to do that?” My nine-year-old self never suspected that one day I’d get the chance to provide the answer, and I’m grateful to Del Rey and Lucasfilm for making it happen.

I’m just thinking about how our causes have trouble seeing their effects until it’s too late to do anything but mourn them.

We should be going in there with a thousand naked warriors who fight like wet cats with dodgy bowels.” “You can go naked if you want,” the bastard says to me, ignoring my advice.

We should be going in there with a thousand naked warriors who fight like wet cats with dodgy bowls.

Two days ago she watched me kill someone, and she offered me her backyard as a place to hide the body.” “Truly?” Magnusson raised his eyebrows in surprise. “That’s a fine woman.

The danger of growing old is growing comfortable and complacent at the same time. We should seek out the new and strange and applaud it and throw wild fecking parties whenever it walks into our lives.

And the Morrigan, I noted, had been right about thrice-cursed trickster gods. They were torrential fucksluices spraying their happy juices on the innocent and the damned alike.

I just shook hands with a naked goddess. What was that she called you? She-ya-han? Does that mean dumbass in Old Irish or something?