152 Quotes by Kevin Nealon

Basically, I'm a people pleaser who has a knack for disappointing.

I grew up watching stand-ups and thought it was so entertaining and unique - you didn't see that as a job description anywhere.

It is a great rush to come up with a joke that gets a good response from the audience. It's gold!

I was born in St. Louis; I lived there for three weeks and then my father graduated from St. Louis University, so we all got in the car and split. I don't really remember much. I grew up in Connecticut most of my life and then four years in Germany. My father worked for a helicopter company, so we went over there.

You really have to be ambitious and have that drive to really become well known and successful as a standup.

Never wear a red t-shirt to Target. I enjoy helping people, but not every two minutes.

If people can't deal with their problems, they numb themselves a little bit.

I think people really appreciate clever commercials, as do I. I think they're very entertaining. You just have to wade through all the garbage. That's one of the reasons people watch the Super Bowl. A lot of them watch it to see the commercials and not the actual game.

I have a wandering eye and a lazy eye so they cancel each other out. It's a push.