239 Quotes by Kinky Friedman

The reason educational spending in Texas is so low is because you don’t have a state tax there, and that’s why Texas is big growth because you don’t tax people to death.

Friday night was the night most people thought they were supposed to have fun. Trouble was most people didn’t know what fun was or how to have it, so things usually ended up pretty ugly.

The main health hazard in the world today is people who don’t love themselves.

The first thing I’ll do if elected is demand a recount.

If you ain’t Texan, I ain’t got time for you.

There will be a whole new spirit blowing through Texas. There will be a smile on everybody’s face and a chill up the spine of every politician.

Now I have a cat. Well, that’s not quite accurate. A cat and I have each other.

I’m also for gay marriage, because I say they have every right to be just as miserable as the rest of us. Love is bigger than government. And Texas, by the way, has a very progressive law about gay couples adopting kids. We just won’t let them get married. So that’s not common sense.

I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it’s just not in a place I can show you.