239 Quotes by Kinky Friedman

He looked a shade too healthy and nobody likes that. Particularly in New York.

The main health hazard in the world today is people who don't love themselves.

Every time you see a beautiful woman, just remember, somebody got tired of her.

Well, I hate to be the one to take the flyswatter to Tinker Bell, but...

I'm not afraid to live. I'm not afraid to fail. I'm not afraid to succeed. I'm not afraid to fall in love. I'm not afraid to be alone. I'm just afraid I might have to stop talking about myself for five minutes.

They probably would've taken Jesus if he hadn't been nailed down.

I'll sign anything except bad legislation.

The art of writing fiction is to sail as dangerously close to the truth as possible without sinking the ship

Happiness is a moving target.