1,579 Quotes by Kurt Vonnegut

Unhappy failures need not apply.

Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly; Man got to sit and wonder, 'Why, why, why?' Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land; Man got to tell himself he understand.

I had taught myself that a human being might as well look for diamond tiaras in the gutter as for rewards and punishments that were fair.

The little girls were wearing black party dresses and black party shoes, so strangers would know at once how nice they were.

One good thing about TV is, if you die violently, God forbid, on camera, you will not have died in vain because you will be great entertainment.

I told him that if we doubted that we are demons in Hell, he should read The Mysterious Stranger, which Mark Twain wrote in 1898, long before the First World War (1914-1918). In the title story he proves to his own grim satisfaction, and to mine as well, that Satan and not God created the planet earth and ""the damned human race."" If you doubt that, read your morning paper. Never mind what paper. Never mind the date.

Humor is a way of holding off how awful life can be, to protect yourself.

Actually, to be an effective person politically in this country, I think you have to be thirty or over, and also you have to be rich, well-placed, you have to be close to power. And I don't think that young people, because they look young, can do much, as I think they are counterproductive.

There were creative-writin g teachers long before there were creative-writin g courses, and they were called and continue to be called editors.