1,579 Quotes by Kurt Vonnegut

I asked this heroic pet lover how it felt to have died for a schnauzer named Teddy. Salvador Biagiani was philosophical. He said it sure beat dying for absolutely nothing in the Viet Nam War.

Revenge provokes revenge which provokes revenge which provokes revenge - forming an unbroken chain of death and destruction linking nations of today to barbarous tribes of thousands and thousands of years ago.

What is my definition of jazz? 'Safe sex of the highest order.

They needed lots of peace and quiet," said Roy, "and so do I, and so do you, I guess, and I'm sorry if I disturbed you. I wasn't doing anything a bird wouldn't do."Some automatic device clicked in her big brain, and her knees felt weak, and there was a chilly feeling in her stomach. She was in love with this man.They don't make memories like that anymore.

Like all real heroes, Charley had a fatal flaw. He refused to believe that he had gonorrhea, whereas the truth was that he did.

Why should I bother with made-up games when there are so many real ones going on?

Montana was naked, and so was Billy, of course. He had a tremendous wang, incidentally. You never know who'll get one.

Billy took off his tri-focals and his coat and his necktie and his shoes, and he closed the venetian blinds and then the drapes, and he lay down on the outside of the coverlet. But sleep would not come. Tears came instead. They seeped. [...] He closed his eyes, and opened them again. He was still weeping, but he was back in Luxembourg again. He was marching with a lot of other prisoners. It was a winter wind that was bringing tears to his eyes.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.