1,579 Quotes by Kurt Vonnegut

Pay no attention to Caesar. Caesar doesn't have the slightest idea what's really going on.

There was a time when I could vote for economic justice, and I can't anymore.

The right of the people to peacefully assemble and petition their government for a redress of grievances is now worth a pitcher of warm spit. That's because TV will not come and treat it respectfully. Television is really something.

Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

If you appear in the 'Atlantic' or 'Harper's' or the 'New Yorker,' by God, you must be a writer, because everybody says so.

and I'm whistling as beautifully as I can.

I pity the Jews trying to get through life with only half a Bible. That's like trying to get from here to San Francisco with a road map that stops at Dubuque, Iowa.

This is what i find most encouraging about the writing trades: they allow mediocre people who are patient and industrious to revise their stupidity, to edit themselves into something like intelligence. They also allow lunatics to seem saner than sane.

What war has always been is a puberty ceremony.