1,579 Quotes by Kurt Vonnegut

Women are so useless and unimaginative, aren’t they? All they ever think of planting in the dirt is the seed of something beautiful or edible. The only missile they can ever think of throwing at anybody is a ball or a bridal bouquet.

She upset Billy simply by being his mother. She made him feel embarrassed and ungrateful and weak because she had gone to so much trouble to give him life, and to keep that life going, and Billy didn’t really like life at all.

No matter how wonderful a sentence is, if it doesn’t add new and useful information, it should be removed.

I’ve often thought there ought to be a manual to hand to little kids, telling them what kind of planet they’re on, why they don’t fall off it, how much time they’ve probably got here, how to avoid poison ivy, and so on.

She broke my heart. I didn’t like that much. But that was the price. In this world, you get what you pay for.

I’ve been living alone for so long, everything about me’s private. I’m surprised anyone’s able to understand a word I say.

You were sick, but now you’re well again, and there’s work to do.

Sometimes I think it is a great mistake to have matter that can think and feel. It complains so.

That’s one thing Earthlings might learn to do, if they tried hard enough: Ignore the awful times and concentrate on the good ones.