1,579 Quotes by Kurt Vonnegut

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

One thing I learned, with permission of the school committee of Indianapolis, was that when a tyrant or a government gets in trouble it wonders what to do. Declare war! Then nothing else matters. It's like chess; when in doubt, castle.

Our president is a Christian? So was Adolf Hitler. What can be said to our young people, now that psychopathic personalities, which is to say persons without consciences, without senses of pity or shame, have taken all the money in the treasuries of our government and corporations, and made it all their own?

I say in speeches that a plausible mission of artists is to make people appreciate being alive at least a little bit. I am then asked if I know of any artists who pulled that off. I reply, 'The Beatles did.

Out in the world I go! Muggers! Autograph hounds! Junkies! People with real jobs! Maybe an easy lay! United Nation functionaries and diplomats!

Dear future generations: Please accept our apologies. We were rolling drunk on petroleum.

I couldn't help wondering if that was what God put me on Earth for--to find out how much a man could take without breaking.

What the Gospels actually said was: don't kill anyone until you are absolutely sure they aren't well connected.

Farewell, hello, farewell, hello.