1,579 Quotes by Kurt Vonnegut

There is no order in the world around us, we must adapt ourselves to the requirements of chaos instead.

God Almighty Himself must have been hilarious when human beings so mingled iron and water and fire as to make a railroad train!

If I wrote something that hadn't really happened, and I tried to sell it, I could go to jail. That's fraud!

Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

We'd all do well to start over again, preferably with kindergarten.

All the great story lines are great practical jokes that people fall for over and over again.

The waitress brought me another drink. She wanted to light my hurricane lamp again. I wouldn't let her. "Can you see anything in the dark, with your sunglasses on?" she asked me. "The big show is inside my head," I said.

Son--they say there isn't any royalty in this country, but do you want me to tell you how to be king of the United States of America? Just fall through the hole in a privy and come out smelling like a rose.

One of the things that I tell beginning writers is this: If you describe a landscape, or a cityscape, or a seascape, always be sure to put a human figure somewhere in the scene. Why? Because readers are human beings, mostly interested in human beings. People are humanists. Most of them are humanists, that is.