17 Quotes by L.D. Davis

You're worse than a douche bag. You're a douche puddle, the excrement of a douching.

I don't know which one is the real you," I said. "Are you more like Kyle the dick or Kyle the good guy?

Forget the fact that he was the first person I had slept with in almost a year or that even though I was drunk I remembered it clearly (and it was effing fantastic!) Forget the fact that I had a hickey for the first time since high school on my neck under the scarf I was wearing, tied around my dumb neck.

Wait! Did you sleep with any of my boyfriends?""No, I promise.""Okay, good," she said, relieved."I just made out with one.""You see?" Tabitha said. "She's a whore bag.""Cum bucket," Mayson nodded in agreement."You guys," Donya made a disgusted sound. "Can we save the name calling for later? I want to hear the hoe's story.

In a cab back in Jersey, I finally answered one of thirty-three of Kyle's text messages (he called forty-seven times, I shit you not. Who does that!)

Why are you asking me now?" I asked. "Why didn't you ask me before?""You seemed a little...unstable," Mayson said. "Now you seem to be more like yourself...which is still...rather unstable.

I sounded so bad ass, but I was really weak, tired, and pretty much shattered inside. If he gave me a hard time, I was going to jump across the table and try to kill him with my water bottle.

You can take care of him," she insisted. This was madness. This was a true example of temporary insanity."I can't.""Why not?" She demanded."Umm...I don't...like..." I couldn't say diapers. I had my own baby! "I don't like... black... babies...