142 Quotes by Larry the Cable Guy

I’m happier than a tornado in a trailer park.

I think everybody is entitled to say whatever they want. I’m not going to call for anybody to be fired. That’s not what America is all about.

Sometimes you’ve gotta wreck the truck to get the insurance money to make the payment on the truck.

What I do onstage, there’s maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk like that because it makes me laugh, and because I know a couple of people that talk like that. They’re really that Southern. And they do funny things. I love ’em; they’re awesome. They’re good people.

Blaming guns for killing people is like blaming pencils for bad spelling.

I’ve always thought if you don’t like what somebody says, don’t hang out with that person. Why do you have to complain about it? Here’s the thing. I don’t hang out with, and I’m not friends with anybody that would offend me or I think offends me or lives a different way than I do.

I don’t judge people by their accent, or how they word things, or how grammatically correct their speech is. Some of the smartest men in the world couldn’t spell. I judge a person by their character.

Guns don’t kill people, husbands who come home early from work kill people.

I’m on the diet where you eat vegetables and drink wine. That’s a good diet. I lost 10 pounds and my driver’s license.